That love makes the world go around is a no-brainer … We all, to varying degrees, embrace love in some or other form – If we did not we would be at each other’s throats like wild beasts!

Most religions, civilized governments, corporations and families espouse love of humankind, in its broader sense, as a basic starting point.  We talk often and comfortably enough of, and indeed idealize, inclusivity, human rights and romantic love.
Why then do we cast out the more empathetic/softer side of our collective and individual psyche the moment we are threatened? Love and Fear are basic, unbidden impulses! Does this mean that we live on two parallel, exclusive levels?

When one looks at the current state of the world, we seem an enraged species – Endlessly ‘shouting hate’ at each other. Those who in such circumstances suggest empathy, forgiveness or introspection are summarily vilified as weak, naïve or gullible – While those who advocate force, punishment, vengeance etc. are considered strong and steadfast … or so it seems to me? Surely big-picture love is most needed when the going gets tough?

Where does this breakdown or separation start? Perhaps when fear strikes TRUST is the first human casualty – Walking an unknown path is difficult when beset with fear. It is understandably impossible to love without trust. Betrayal in any human relationship illustrates this on a daily micro-level.
Consider the following logic stream:

• People who perceive themselves as seen, understood, engaged, empowered & utilized are, for the most part, fulfilled, happy and content
• Those who feel unseen, ignored, misunderstood, overlooked/by-passed, and underutilized are to varying degrees frustrated, unhappy & despairing….?
• In a perfect world then, a huge component of LEADERSHIP would be the ability to identify, understand, engage, empower and utilize others, to ensure, in as far as possible that we all get a fair crack at happiness/fulfillment  - Would not this be a true manifestation of ‘loving one another as we love ourselves’? More...

The notion of “it is lonely at the top” is sometimes belied by the illusion that leadership is about Power & Influence… the attainment of absolute control and ensuing subordinate obedience. As we know from history, in stories great and small, this is the pursuit of the impossible.

Trusted support/stakeholder loyalty is the keystone to effective and sustainable leadership. Relationship building, for me, is the thread that links the key elements of forward thinking leadership - identifying operational requirement, proactively evolving a realistic vision, selling workable solutions, running collaborative projects & problem solving.

Trust & loyalty are not that easily earned. Consider the words of a former presidential aide: “Giving an order does not end the matter... nothing gets done except by endless follow up, endless kissing and coaxing, endless threatening and compelling… Everyone is watching you, waiting, trying to guess what you mean –Trying to get your number. Can they fool you? Can they outwait you? Will you be mad when you hear it isn’t done yet?  … And they are all testing you. How much can they get away with? How much authority can they take? How much authority do you want them to have? Once you choose men you have to keep them; which means endless attrition of your will against their will…” (White, aide to President Truman 1965; cited from article by George H. Litwin/Robert A. Stringer JR.)  

Relationship-building requires hard work on the part of any leader - Intense collaboration and persuasion/negotiation, involving a fine balance between strength & vulnerability. The stronger the team caliber, the fiercer the ambition...The harder the leader’s task! 

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