Oftentimes, those who interact with me, professionally and personally, comment on my obsession with conscious or unconscious individual impact … I have always insisted in leadership seminars & especially in career transition and life/relationship coaching sessions, that showing who we are, upfront, will allow us to more quickly arrive at a good fit … the right job, the right friends and surely the right loves!

I had a stimulating first meeting with an industry colleague today - In the space of 45 minutes, I believe we established a mutual and comprehensive appreciation of who we really are - I felt buoyant an energized, although very aware that the encounter had demanded a healthy dose of courage/risk-taking… The lowering of natural fire-walls that might have resulted in instant rejection… 

On the way home, I reflected on how much easier life would be (time, money & energy wise) if we were less scared of being who we really are… Surely arriving at the truth of any relationship is preferable sooner rather than later? Does not the truth ... with the passage of time... ultimately reveal itself? Is it not a better strategy to be who we are rather pretending to be the person we think others would prefer us to be?

“… there are very few people with our curse or gift… No one wants to see anything of what there is to see, they don’t even dare to look, still less take the risk of making a wager; being forewarned, foreseeing or judging… no one dares to say or to acknowledge that they see what they see, what is quite simply there… “  - Javier Marias, Your Face Tomorrow, Volume 3

“Every man is more than just himself; he also represents the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world’s phenomena intersect, only once in this way, and never again.” - Demian, Herman Hesse

I am often asked why I do what I do:  “How did an experienced diplomat, lawyer/advocate etc. land up in professional/personal development arena?"...

Oftentimes, I flippantly reply that I am a frustrated priest, but the reality is that fierce belief in our innate individuality, as well as the unique contribution each of us has to make, is unwavering. I also see, on a daily basis, that our natural human inclination to conform/comply with social norms is often at odds with our ability to be who we really are!

To greater or lesser degrees, this becomes problematic when individual aspirations, goals or even character diverges from mainstream thinking/trends. My overriding professional purpose, honed by previous experience, is to enable individuals in their quest to be themselves within their greater evolving circumstance - A sort of subjective/objective continuum…that makes conscious what is innate!

In my student days, Hesse’s words inspired what has become a lifelong credo that continues to underpin my approach to my professional & personal endeavors ... Seeing and being seen, for who we really are, is so important in the quest for happiness...!

I felt a deep sense of fulfillment this week then, receiving a note of thanks from a client last seen early last decade, explaining that these same words inspire her every day!